Candles lit. Glasses raised.

Today has been a shitty, heartbreaking day. Actually the last few weeks have been rather shit. The kind of shittiness that makes you wonder whether you should pray or drink. The kind that makes you question what or if you believe anything at all.

Today was shit. So I had my nails done. Painted a garish, glittery silver. I cried without my make-up smudging (thanks Smashbox). Then cried until it did. I had a bath. I had a glass of wine. And I lit some candles and prayed.

I'm not Catholic. I'm not 100% sure how the candle lighting thing works. But tonight I lit them.

I lit a candle for every one of the people I love who lost someone (or is busy saying goodbye). A parent, a grand parent, a family member, an unborn child. It doesn't matter what other people say. It doesn't matter what the reasons are. It doesn't matter what the doctors say, or nature, or the internet.  The why's don't matter. The hurt does. It's real. It is overwhelming. And it is fcking awful.

I lit a candle for everyone that lost a marriage, a relationship, a great love. Those who experienced betrayal. Who endured, perhaps for too long. Who didn't see it coming. Who just knew it was not right. Who had their hearts broken like in a Taylor Swift song.

I lit a candle for everyone who hates their job. Disillusioned. Disappointed. Depleted.

I lit a candle for everyone who is just tired. So tired.

I lit candles, because I didn't know what else to do.

 photo candles_zpstlsickda.png

I also raised a glass... the parents who pray for us, who stay up late to make sure we are safe even though they can't do anything. The parents who support us no matter what. The parents that doubt our decisions but let us make them anyway. The parents who challenge us, but are also willing to be challenged. the brand new parents who are taking on the task of raising well adjusted, future adults. Who are trying their best, and often failing, but always loving. the ones who are risking new relationships. Risking being loved. Risking loving and giving it all. One more time. the ones who get up, dress up, and show up. the friends who give unconditionally. The friends who drop everything for you. The friends who disagree, and love, and shout, and debate, and understand. The friends who give up their beds, their time, their energy. The friends who show time and time again that they Will. Be. There.

Here's to you.
God bless.
And cheers.


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